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If you are caught up in divorce proceedings, it can be an very stressful experience, even when the divorce is friendly, and not filled with anger. When you have an uncontested divorce, the issues of child custody can usually be taken care of by mutual agreement, without lots of drama and disagreement. When a divorce is contested and filled with anger, however, the matter of who gets to have custody of the children can become a major combat zone. If you should find yourself involved in this kind of situation, there are certain things that you should try to do to help improve the odds that you will be able to win your struggle to be granted custody of your children.

If you are caught up in divorce proceedings, it can be an very stressful experience, even when the divorce is friendly, and not filled with anger. When you have an uncontested divorce, the issues of child custody can usually be taken care of by mutual agreement, without lots of drama and disagreement. When a divorce is contested and filled with anger, however, the matter of who gets to have custody of the children can become a major combat zone. If you should find yourself involved in this kind of situation, there are certain things that you should try to do to help improve the odds that you will be able to win your struggle to be granted custody of your children.

* Be absolutely certain that you don't allow your children to be exposed to environments that are unhealthy, or that could be harmful to them in any way. If you are still smoking, by all means quit- at least when your children are with you! If stopping is absolutely impossible for you (in other words, if cigarettes are tougher to give up than custody of your children), then at the very minimum, you must stop smoking when you are around them. Not only is it demonstrably harmful to their health and well-being, but if you are exposing them to a known health hazard (which smoking is), it can provide a very effective weapon that your former spouse can turn against you during the custody proceedings.

* If you are already involved in a new romantic partner, be very careful when it comes to making an open display of affection with your new lover. This is very important, for at least two reasons: first, it can be quite upsetting to your children when they witness this, because they still may have intense feelings of loyalty to your former spouse. Second, the court will typically frown on it if children are being exposed to an highly sexual or erotic environment. You most also be certain that you are spending enough time with your children, and that you are not ignoring them to spend time with your new partner.

* Give a lot of thought to where your children would prefer to live. Try to find out what their preference is, even though it might turn out that they do not want to live with you. If your children have a strong desire to remain with your ex, if you insist that you be granted custody of them it can be not only self defeating, but it can be damaging to your relationship with them in the future. The only time this warning would not apply would be in a situation where you have honest, well-founded concerns for the safety of your children in the event they were to remain with your ex - and even if that is the case, you must recognize that there may be resistance from the children if you win custody, and they prefer to live with your former spouse instead.

* It is important to be as involved as possible with the day-to-day lives of your children while you are going through the custody process. If you accomplish this, you will be casting yourself in the a highly favorable light in the view of the Court. If you seem to the Court to have left your children to the care of your former spouse, you will, in all probability, lose your custody battle.

* Do your everything possible to hire a very competent attorney who can really help you with your custody case. An attorney who holds your best interests as a top priority will be your best ally in your quest for custody of your children. Unfortunately, finding that kind of attorney is often a real gamble.

Even if you have a competent lawyer, you will still benefit greatly if you have a second source of help available to you. This should be a resource that can provide up-to-date and necessary information and advice to help you. As long as you have that, then if your attorney does turn out to be more interested in billing hours than doing actual work, you will have another source of guidance. Another reason to have an second resource is that often attorneys are simply not able to keep abreast of all the latest psychological and legal strategies regarding custody, as well as which kinds of evidence, and types of allegations, will succeed(or are bound to fail ) in the courtroom.

To get access to this kind of vital support information, you need to obtain a Custody Guide that has been written by experts in the field of child custody who have well-deserved reputations for their knowledge of the field. You need to get your information from experts who specialize in child custody and have the in-depth experience and knowledge that enables them to compile the important information, and to keep it current. It is also important that the information be presented in a way that makes it possible for an untrained person to comprehend it, and use it. There are probably many sources for this type of guide that can help you find your way through the confusing legal maze that is Child Custody. The links in the resource box will provide further information on some of the best that you will find.